Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
