we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
