getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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