i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
