Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize