Can i not drive my cunt home
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I understand Curling. That high.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
