That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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