I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
We need to get me chipped asap
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
