D3 body, D1 cock
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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