New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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