is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
