We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
