I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
