Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
