garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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