everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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