i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
tell me about the eggs
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
