I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
