I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
