I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize