the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Randomize
