oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
