i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
