allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i think i just naturally attract stoners
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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