It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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