Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
