I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
