It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
