community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
