just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
