she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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