He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Please, let me fuck your mom
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
