I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize