Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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