Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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