VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
In other news, I just burned my penis
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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