stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize