Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
