oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
