forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The uberlube is also flammable
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
