Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
