turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
