...so i touched it.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
