you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
