He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
