just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
