....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
