This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
