Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
