just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
