Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
