My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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