But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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