And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
