I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
