Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
