I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
