I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
