You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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